As I started my sophomore year, I quickly realized that Chemistry Honors would be more difficult than I anticipated. The teach-yourself style and unprecedented amount of homework surprised me, and I limped to an 88% my first semester. This was disappointing, as one of the goals I had set for myself was to get an A in every class. When I heard about an opportunity to get a grade boost through participation in the Tech Challenge, I was ecstatic. I had participated in the competition the previous two years with my friends, and this seemed like a chance to boost my grade and have fun along the way.
When I found out that my friends had already signed up without me, I lost it. Furious, I isolated myself from my former companions and refused to speak to any of them. The next couple weeks were the worst of my life, as I wallowed in loneliness and self-pity. Eventually, I realized that this behavior would not improve my situation, and I decided to channel my hurt into productivity. I found a partner with whom to enter the Tech Challenge, and I got to work.
I soon discovered that once again, I had underestimated the difficulty of the task ahead. Engineering is not my strong suit, and my partner offered little support. Still, I managed to piece something together, and while I didn’t win any awards, I was proud of my design and my performance in the Tech Challenge. I got the grade boost and followed it up with a strong academic second semester to accomplish my goal.
While the Tech Challenge itself was a significant obstacle, it paled in comparison to what I knew I had to do next: forgiving my friends. That summer, I had plenty of time to cool off and reflect, and once again, I realized that my actions did not benefit me or them. At the start of my junior year, I was able to have a tough but rewarding conversation that allowed us to work through our differences and rekindle friendships I had considered dead.
I, too, relate to the struggles of chem. Science was never my strong suit yet I still wanted to strive for an A in every class. I do not want to speak for you but I have always found as a usual A student that school concepts have almost always come pretty easy to me, yet the social aspects of school I always needed to work for.
ReplyDeleteThe flashbacks I just had reading "chemistry honors"... I admire your resilience and dedication toward seizing that A and navigating how to get there, especially having to deal with multiple setbacks. I also struggle a lot with holding grudges, so I applaud your efforts of reforging your friendships.
ReplyDeleteChemistry is the worst. I have a similar experience during AP chem in my junior year. I took biology and chemistry honors at the same time in my freshman year (in a conjoined class for my biomedical sciences program at school) but AP Chem was a struggle. It took a lot of stress and perseverance to succeed in that class.
ReplyDeleteChemistry.....yikes. I think most people can relate to having a hellish experience with that one. I personally relate to wanting an A in every class, and being disappointed with anything else. I'm excited you were able to persevere, that's awesome. And, I'm glad you worked it out with your friends--that's huge, and super mature.
ReplyDeleteI also struggled immensely in honors chemistry, as science has never been my string suit, and actually got a C+ my first semester, but I realized that if I gave myself permission to fail and work harder the next semester, I could still come out the other end alive. And through meeting with the teacher during every office hours, studying like crazy, and working my butt off I ended up with an A- by the end of the school year. It's honestly miraculous how much just communicating with your teacher can help!
ReplyDeleteI really appreciate you sharing this story, especially the part where you worked to overcome your disappointment and then to repair your friendships. That takes a lot of courage and you're to be commended for it.
ReplyDeleteHonors chemistry was so damn rough. Up until that point I generally enjoyed my science and math classes, but honors chem made me never wanna step foot in a lab ever again. It did help teach me not to value grades too much though.
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